The Diagnosis

October 27th, 2016

When I had left the imaging center the day before, I didn't expect to hear anything for about a week. This wasn't the case.

I was preparing my classroom, around 7:00 am, and having a good morning. I walked out of the room to make copies, happy that there was paper available. Upon returning to my room, I noticed I missed a call and there was a message for me.

The message was from the my gynecologists office. Her secretary said Dr. Tack wanted to see me as soon as I could come in.

That was it. I knew it right then and there. I texted my mom immediately. I text my ex-husband immediately. I already knew. There was no other reason that my doctor would call me that early in the morning and want to see me the day after my exam unless it was something big. Something like the C word.

Of course, being a teacher, I couldn't just leave work so I had to put a smile on and continue my day as though I wasn't about to be told I have cancer. It was a long day.

When I finally got to the office, about 3:30, I didn't have to wait in the waiting room long. And when the nurse was bringing me back and asked me how I was doing, I told her to ask me on my way out.

Dr. Tack didn't waste anytime. One of the reasons that I liked her so much was that she was always straight to the point. She looked at me and said "It's breast cancer."

I said, "I know." And I said, "My mom is going to be really sad." Because that's the first thing I thought about.

Dr. Tack was mad. She was angry because she knew we were watching it and being proactive. Unfortunately, the cancer actually snuck up behind the two cyst that we were watching. I reassured her that she and I both did everything, it just happened. I thought about it afterward, the irony of me reassuring my doctor.

When I got to the car, I called my mother, and I cried. I then called my ex husband, who has always been my biggest supporter and always knew my fear. And I cried to him. I drove home half crying, half dazed. I texted my best friend as soon as I got home but had to gather myself before I could speak again.

The next step was to get a biopsy to confirm what we already knew. And so began my journey, my walk with the C word.